If anyone had predicted a year ago where I would be now and what has happened during this past year, I would have found it difficult to believe. A year ago, I was just recovering from gall bladder surgery gone bad and then repaired. I was recovering nicely and thought that life was on an even keel. Since that time, my husband fell and broke a hip, wound up in the nursing home. Then we made a move to Texas, left a lot of life-time friends, bought a new home and were getting ready to settle down here. Within three weeks, my Dubby was gone and we laid him to rest back in Tennessee. I changed my doctors, am getting used to driving to new places, and trying to adjust to life without him. Also, my sweet youngest daughter has been diagnosed with cancer and is struggling with that awful disease, and of course, we struggle with her, wishing we could help more.
Even though I have had a lot of assistance, and love of my family here, there are days that I just miss my sweetie so very much. People say, "Oh you have been through a lot, haven't you?" but the truth is, we each do what we have to do.
Sometimes I see or hear something that I think, "Wait till I tell Dubby about this, he will think it is so funny and have a witty remark to make about it" and then remember that he is no longer around to tell it to. Quite often I wake up in the middle of the night and think he is there. Of course, he isn't, and it takes me a second or two to realize I am alone in the house.
I know that I am not going through anything different than what a lot of other people have, but the fact that it is happening to me brings it home with me. Now that I've done a lot of whining....let me tell you that I am so glad that I have the Lord in my life and that He is here to help me in my time of need. He was and is with me in all the days of my trouble but also in the days of my joy. He is my present help in all times. I thank Him and praise Him for his goodness to me. I know that He is using my pain for His gain. I also know that He is helping Tom and Teresa through their trials, as well as the rest of my family. Thank you, Lord.
And, I am adjusting. I love the house and am happy to be making a lot of friends. The neighborhood I live in is quiet and pleasant, and the neighbors are great. I am finding my way around and I'm making new memories. My family is wonderful and so very loving. Carol doesn't let me feel lonely, but keeps in close touch as well as the grandchildren.
Well, when I began this I was feeling lower than a snake's belly, but am now feeling so much better. Thanks for listening, er, reading. I guess it is just the time of the year. Dubby's birthday was in October, our anniversary was in November, and then there was the holiday of Thanksgiving. We always celebrated birthdays and anniversaries with family in Tennessee. There was an episode of Raymond the other day where Robert advised Raymond to hold Debra's hand to help his marriage, and make her know that Raymond really cared for her. I thought, "Dubby and I still held hands sometimes, even after he was in the nursing home." Of course, we held hands sometimes, too, when I was helping him walk somewhere. It was a wonderful feeling of closeness.
Well, it is time to take my shower and get ready to leave for church. This is Blabbin' Grammy signing off for now. I put a Cornish game hen in the crock pot for a lunch for one. I will sit at the table, reading my book, and eating my lunch. I hope they get Farmville fixed for us poor gamesters. Ha ha. It is on the fritz and I can't harvest my crops. I look forward to spending some time this morning with friends at Sunday School and church.
Bye for now. More later. Much love to each of you, my friends and family. Have a great day today.