Thursday, April 8, 2010

How Are You?

Hey, Y'all,
When we run into somebody we know, regardless of where we might be, the first thing we usually say is, "Hi, there, how are you?"

Now the question really is, 'Do we really Want to know'? Do we want to stand there, thinking about when we are going to get to finish our mission that we are on, or do we really want to hear the ills that have beset the person we run into?

Because, believe you me, most of them will have something they want to tell you about, and if we are truly a sincere person, and not just giving lip service to our desire to serve Jesus, we will be happy to listen and commiserate with them. We are doing a service to our fellow man (or woman - and most usually it will be a woman who has something to relate to us) when we can listen earnestly to what they have to say about their ills.

No, really, we do not ask unless we really want to hear. I know it certainly made me feel better when I was recovering from my illness last year when I came very close to "crossing over Jordan" several times, that I could talk to people about my surgeries and tell them how blessed I was to have so many friends who cared about me and prayed for my recovery. Probably some of them grew weary of my talking about "how I was", but I am grateful for their ministering to me.

Anyway, the next time you ask someone, "hey, how ya' been?", be ready to listen, because they may really need to have someone to talk to, and you could be doing a good deed without realizing it.

We didn't get to go to Knoxville today, because it was storming outside, and I didn't want to take Gramps out into the weather or my sisters-in-law, either. The rain stopped tonight, so we will go in tomorrow. This is Blabbin' Grammy signing off for today. I had a call from my daughter, Carol, today. She calls me at least once a week with news about her family. It's always good to talk to her. I'll be chatting with Teresa this weekend.

That is it for today. Much love to each of you. Bye for now. More later. Do yourself a favor and ask some one, "How are you?" and listen to what they have to say.

12 comments:

arlee bird said...

My daughters who live in New Jersey are down in Maryville right now to visit my mother for her 81st birthday. I did a video chat with the whole bunch there in Maryville. They told me it was raining.
There's some people I just don't ask how they're doing cause I know they're going to tell me anyway.
Lee
Blogging From A to Z April Challenge

The Alliterative Allomorph said...

So true Grammy! Here in Greece people ask how you are and then answer for you immediately and then get on with what they have to say ... 'Hi how are you? Good? Good. Well, ...' Makes me mad!

WELCOME TO MY WORLD OF POETRY: said...

My late husband when he had only weeks to live met someone he knew, he was asked"How are you? fine my husband replied, I said but you're not, he said people really don't want to know. I remembered his words throughout the years and make sure I always listen to how a person is feeling.
Love your post as always, lovely to hear form you Ruby, have a lovely day.
Yvonne.

Jan said...

You are so right. Folks just use how are you as a greeting not as a real question. But then, I find these days, I am sick of my sickness and just want to say "fine" so as not to carry on.
Love this A to Z challenge, don't you?

thesouthernlady64 said...

Most of the time I don't mind listening to how someone is feeling etc. This made me think about a woman I used to work with that came into work every morning and would ask one of us if we saw a certain movie on t.v. the night before. If we said we did not see it, she proceeded to tell us the entire movie she had watched from beginning to end. She drove us all crazy doing that. Otherwise, she was a nice lady, had a big family, so I know she was not lonely. Funny how we read something on a blog and it brings back lots of memories. Have a good weekend!

Grammy said...

Hi, y'all,

Arlee,
You're right, they tell us anyway, don't they?

A.A., they do that here too, sometimes. It is kind of irritatin'. BTW, I once came to Greece on a tour of the Holy Lands. Your country is just beautiful. I will never forget that trip, (unless, maybe I wind up forgetting everything.

W2MW,
Good for you! Sometimes you may be the only person they get to talk to.

Jan, Yes, I love the Challenge, but then I am always up for a challenge, just ask my kids. ha.

Judy, Maybe she talked so much that none of her family would listen and she actually was lonely, or maybe she just liked people? Anyhow, I am sure you were always kind to her.

melodygreen said...

I LOVE this post. One of my biggest pet peeves is when people ask how I am doing and don't really listen. During a particularly difficult time in my life, I listened to someone at church talk about this very fact. They were advocating it. Most others there agreed in complaining that when they ask how someone is doing they don't want a long-drawn out discussion of how that person is really doing. (I was proud of myself that I raised my hand to comment that I don't ask someone how they are doing unless I want to know.) Needless to say, I am no longer at that church. I do understand that "How are you doing?" is a cliche and often people aren't looking for a response. I don't go into my life story with the grocery clerk :)... but other situations are different. I am very grateful that I do have some people in life who ask, and truly care, how my life is going. Some I have had a conversation with about this very topic... others just respond to fine with, "Are you sure?" or "How are you really doing?". Great post, I am glad you chose to write about this today.

Barbara said...

Enjoying the posts you have done lately.You are so right about how people react to (how are you)then there are others that no matter what illness you have,they have the same thing/only their illness is worse,does this ever happen to others?Hope you all have a great day in Knoxville today.Love Barbara

Lisa said...

I love asking how folks are doing and meaning it! It's important to give a wave and a smile. And I don't mind being the initiator, either. It really broadens your world when you choose to be the one to smile or say "hello, how ya doin'" first. Great post Ms. Ruby.

Hugs,
Lisa

Raquel Byrnes said...

Great post, it always bugs me when people as how you're doing...while they are walking past you.

Debra Harris-Johnson said...

Hi Grammy it's your new friend "Dream Weaver" just stopping by for a visit which will be the first of many. Have a great weekend, oh I'm sorry I forgot to ask, "How you doing?"

Not enough hours! said...

It is sad isn't it, that we don't have time for each other?
Quite often, even when something is bothering me, I reply "great" because I know they don't really care for the answer.

And there are those other people who call you with a purpose, but talk about this and that, and all along you are waiting for them to get to the point, because you know there is a point.